November 13, 2011

I don't know what happened today. It just wasn't a good day. I feel like all I ever do anymore is eat. The good thing about today was that I got all of my homework done. I got it done of course while I was supposed to be sleeping. I feel like I'm wired. I can't sleep. Maybe it's because I'm upset. I couldn't tell you all the things I'm upset about. It would take too long. For starters, I accidentally threw away a gas gift card that my aunt sent me, I need money for a new phone by Friday and I'm not counting on my paycheck sufficing it, I need money for Christmas presents...speaking of that I even asked my grandma if instead of her buying me a Christmas present if she would give me money before Christmas so I can buy other people presents. I don't understand why I don't have money. All my money goes to food and gas. I seriously just wish I could drop out of college and get a real job. This minimum wage bullshit ain't cutting it. It's really hard working at a daycare that pays less than all the other daycares in your county. It makes me angry. My job right now is the only one that is going to work with my schedule. Next semester's going to kick my ass. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm overwhelmed. Fuck everything. Ugh, I know I'm complaining and I probably shouldn't be. I bet there are so many more people with more serious problems with me, but it's just so hard juggling so many different things. Whatever, I'm done.

xoxo :/

November 8, 2011

Okay, so seriously...fuck my dad. I've never met a bigger asshole. He seriously could fall of the face of the planet right now and I wouldn't care. He's a manipulative, sneaky, conniving little bastard. There's a nice little hot coal with your name on it in hell.

October 18, 2011

Today was weird. Too many emotions. Too much homework. Not enough sleep. Need a miracle.

September 27, 2011

I'm having a lot of problems lately. I'm moving Saturday. I'm doing bad in school. My relationship's a little rough this second. My parents are driving me crazy with threats. I can't seem to make anyone happy. I just want to disappear for a day or two and get my mind right. I keep feeling guilty, everything that's going on is my fault. I can't sleep at night so I fall asleep in class. I hate my job now. I don't understand why. I just need for my life to go back to the way things used to be.

August 30, 2011

I don't feel good. Today's not been good at all. I fell asleep in Biology class. It's super boring. I like my professor, but he's really dry. Math class was difficult. I didn't understand a lot, but when she explained it I could understand how to do it. When I got home, it was a different story. Work sucked. The little kids were extra bad today. Go figure. Why wouldn't they be bad on the day I don't feel good? I can't figure out how to do my homework. God forbid I ask someone how to do it. I still don't feel good. I just want to go to bed and forget today ever happened. I desperately need the weekend, like now.

August 25, 2011

Whether people want to admit it or not, college does change people.

August 21, 2011

August 19, 2011

I had a wonderful night with Justin tonight. We went to eat at Arby's and then cuddled up and watched Hall Pass. :) I'm sad I won't get to see him tomorrow and he's too stubborn to stay until Sunday. Yay for me not having plans for Sunday.

August 18, 2011

I'm feeling rather hostile. I got called into work this morning at 7:20. I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. The usual. On top of all this I have a sinus infection. Wonderful! I think I've decided I'm not having children. I had to change a stinky diaper this morning and I'm not even kidding, I gagged at least seven times to the point where I had to get the other teacher to wipe the kid. So embarrassing. I've never been like that before, but oh well. I had Sumo's for dinner tonight. It was so good! I wasn't semi-full and still ate almost all my food. Monday can't come faster! I'm ready to start school, on the real. I guess just cause everyone else is. I'm not exactly sure.

In case you're wondering - I've sort of developed a new attitude. I'm starting to just not give a shit anymore. That in itself is both good and bad. I'm not even about to explain myself. I feel like watching The Golden Girls. ♥ that show. I haven't the slightest clue what I'm doing tomorrow, I just know Justin's coming home. Yay! :) Then Saturday I have to go to my grandma's birthday party all the way in Dillon. *Sigh* You know how that goes.

Well, just for the occasion, I might as well...This reminds me of Uncle Buck!

August 17, 2011

You disgust me.

Oh My!
♥ that song.

Time to get in shape!

August 15, 2011

I haven't seen Ben Frank in so long I forgot what that nigga looks like.

Things are a lot different now. For the good and for the bad. I hate my parents. I can't say that enough. I just want to move out. Although, I'm not stupid. I know if I do that there's no coming back and I'm not sure if it's worth it right now. I just wish school would go ahead and start. I'm ready to get this shit over with. Tonight I skyped Justin. I miss him so much but I feel like that's better than not seeing him at all. That's why I'm mad at my parents. My dad's trying to tell me I can't drive to see him every other weekend. What the fuck? Is he kidding? It's every OTHER weekend. Not every weekend, not every day. God, he's such a fucking idiot.

For the record, I think I'm finding out who my true friends are. I might have said that before, but I really found out now. Friends don't lie to friends.

August 13, 2011

Worst Day Ever.

I might not get on here for a while. I just don't feel like writing anymore...

August 11, 2011

Lately everyone's been stressed out. I'm about to go crazy. Justin's leaving Saturday and it really bothers me. The closer it comes to Saturday, the worse I feel about the whole situation. Not to mention the fact that we're arguing right now doesn't make matters better, whatsoever. I'm at the point where I don't know if I should cry or just keep myself together. For the record - assumption is the mother of all fuck ups. I seriously haven't felt this bad in a while. That's actually a lie. I can think of a time right now in July when I felt even worse than this.

I need you in my life.

August 10, 2011

I had a really good day today. I found out to rent my books for this semester it's going to be around two hundred dollars. I'm not too happy about that. I did some chores around the house and then went to work. I left early and went to Justin's house. I'm so so sad that he's leaving. I know he won't be that far away, but still. I wish I was going to USC this year so I could be closer to him, but I know everything's going to be alright. :)

xoxo

Hey Baby

August 8, 2011

I woke up this morning and sat around for a little bit. I got out the shower and tried to start getting ready and got called into work early. I got there around two and worked until like six. After that I went to Justin's house and spent the rest of the day with him and his family. We went to Waffle House for dinner and it made me feel fat. It always does. I came home and got yelled at yet again tonight. My parents are dickwads. Like seriously, fuck them. That's all I have to say about that. I need to start taking my Lexapro again.

Dammit man

August 7, 2011

Yesterday was miserable. Today was slightly better. I spent the night at Sierra's. We had fun, even though we didn't do a lot. I really like the company. I can't stand to be alone. Being alone when I'm upset makes me even more upset. Isn't everyone like that? Maybe not. Hm, so anyways...I'm going through these emotions where I feel utterly confused. I feel like I need to pray and usually when I need to pray, it's serious. I'm taking in all kinds of stress from all different angles and it's becoming unbearable. My face is broken out. But, tomorrow's a new day. I have to work tomorrow and everyday after that Monday through Friday. Hello paycheck cut! I gotta get this off my chest.

Click

August 5, 2011

It's my sister's birthday today. I Went to take my Biology placement test today at Central. To move to Bio 101 you had to make a 50. Guess what I made! ...a 50. Oh well, I would've made higher if I would have studied before I took the test. At least I passed. After that I took Abigail to San Jose for her birthday lunch. There went fifteen dollars. Then my gas tank was on E...there went twenty six dollars. I went and opened my own bank account today. I'm glad I have one to myself now. Feels good. I have like no money. I still have to pay for my books and Justin's birthday present. I'm praying I'll just find money in my account when I wake up one morning. That would be fucking amazing. Having this new job at the daycare, I'm not going to make near as much as I would have at Sonic. At least this way I'll still be able to see Justin on the weekends, guaranteed.

I'm having one of those days where me and Justin just can't get along. This too shall pass. Tomorrow's a new day. Red Lobster tonight was GROSS! I can't believe it. Such a disappointment. Okay so Jersey Shore last night was amazing. It was so good to see all of them again. I seriously feel like I know all of them personally. Sad, right? Hmmm, well I don't think anyone reads these things but if you do, here's a playlist of music you should listen to in your free time.

1. Old School
2. Self Made
3. Slow Grind Music
4. Baddest Bitch
5. ♥

peaceloveandhappiness.

August 4, 2011

The most amazing thing in the world is when you write something sweet on your boyfriend's wall...and he doesn't reply! God, love that. Today was not what I thought it'd be at all. I was slightly disappointed. But, life goes on. I have a lot to do tomorrow. I'm not really sure why I'm still awake, but it'll be okay.

August 3, 2011

I just got back from the beach. I'm settled now and everything. I had a great time; especially since I got to spend the trip with the love of my life. ♥ He's amazing. I'm glad to see all my animals again. I can't wait for tomorrow. Me and Justin will be dating for ten months! :) Wooh! I miss him already.
xoxo

July 29, 2011

Today's my birthday! :D Yahhhh bitch yahhhhh. I went to dinner with Justin's family. I love Longhorn. :) They're so sweet. I can't wait until tomorrow! Justin and I are finally going on a vacation with my family for once. I'm breaking out. Not really sure why. Maybe it's because people stress me out. Not saying any names. :p I want a puppy. Booparents.

July 26, 2011

People just don't understand how good Bojangles is. Had that for lunch today. I didn't really do a whole lot today, just sat around, watched Law and Order SVU reruns and waited for my hunny to come over. I always love hanging out with him. :) Teen Mom pissed me off because I was hoping they'd take Amber's baby away from her. I can't wait for the Jersey Shore to come back on. August 4th ♥ I'm so bored. There's nothing on TV these days. I hate being alone. I really do. Ugh. It's torture not being able to talk to anyone. I really have the urge to shop online right now. Too bad my wallet doesn't agree. I always feel like shopping online when I'm bored. I really want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now. Which is really weird because I hardly ever eat those. God, I love when people take an hour to reply to each text.

love,
ittybittytitties

July 25, 2011

I started my new job today. It wasn't quite what I expected, but it was still good. :)




...so tired of feeling like this.

July 24, 2011

I had a pretty good day today. I'm excited about starting my new job tomorrow. Hopefully everything goes okay. I'm super super excited about going to the beach Saturday! Yessss. Justin gets to go too, which makes it even better. ♥

July 23, 2011

I haven't wrote in a couple of days. Nothing huge happened. I'm bored as ever. I'm stressed about a lot of little things here and there. I'm just ready for this next week to be over with. The thirtieth couldn't get here faster!

July 20, 2011

Fuck everything.

July 18, 2011

I quit my job today, then hung out with Justin for a little while. I'm so ready for this beach trip. It's not even funny. I need money. It's a good thing my birthday's coming up.

Note to self: Never buy roasted chicken bites from Bojangles ever again.

July 17, 2011

I hate Sundays.

...Some days I just want to sit down and cry about everything and nothing at the same time.

July 16, 2011

My day was absolutely boring. I did nothing until it was time to go to work. I had to work from five until twelve. My feet hurt. Okay, I'm done complaining now. I can't wait for the beach! I need to get away. I absolutely love Victoria's Secret. Just saying. ♥ Ahhh, life's good. Well...mostly. (;
This is how we do.

July 13, 2011

Some things never get easier. I shaved my legs like two hours ago and they're still burning. Wtf? Anyways, I had a pretty good day. At least when I was with Mariah, after that, not so much. It's really weird because I don't like a lot of people but I hate being alone. I always feel like I need to be with someone. I'm watching Juno. I love this movie, mostly because of the songs.

aslkdjgfoeofueouwoeufoeifjeiowjfoiewjfoiejofiwjofijeiojew
:/

July 11, 2011

I got what I wanted; what I thought would solve the problem. Why am I still not completely happy?

July 6, 2011

I have a lot on my mind. There's never enough time in a day, never enough money in my account, and definitely never enough of my mind spoken. I'm ready to start a new life and I have my rock. Justin's been so amazing. Sure we've had our ups and downs but I honestly wouldn't want to be with anyone else but him. As cheesy as that sounds, I don't care. And as my life progresses everyday, I find out who my friends aren't. He's been the one person I can count on to be there for me tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that. That's really all I need. ♥

Things Change

People change too. It sucks to lose someone close to you. What sucks worse is not knowing what you did. I'm tired of being used. I'm torn between caring too much and not giving a shit. All you can do is suck it up. Life goes on. I'm done ranting.

Do you really wanna?

I'm in love. There's something different about him. He makes me feel like I've never felt before. Nobody understands it. Half the time, I don't even understand it. It's like nothing else matters. I'm happy, even when I'm sad. I'm so thankful I found someone like him. I couldn't ask for more.

☮♥&(:
peaceloveandhappiness

Another One Bites the Dust

I wish I could erase people out of my life completely.

So done with feeling this way.

P.S. That song 'Forever Young' makes me so sad. I don't even know why. I thought that was really strange.

Just listen.

Butterflies in Africa

I had a pretty good day today. I'm really sad that we have school tomorrow though. Definitely not looking forward to that. I've become extremely addicted to Tumblr. It's pretty sad. Hmmm, I want a milkshake.

If you're not following me, you probably should...
Mermaids and Pink Elephants

Oh summer, where art thou?

I don't

really know how I feel right now. I guess you could say I'm numb. I'm so used to being hurt, it almost feels right. Almost.

I wish I knew how I felt so I could write about it. All I know is my mind is going 20940823 miles an hour.

I feel stupid. I feel weak.

And for saying all of that, I feel relieved.

I think it's time for a change. A big change.

Sometimes you just gotta say...

FUCK IT.

I had to work today. It rained all fucking day. So stupid. I wish I lived in Florida. That'd be nice. I'm sure it didn't rain in Florida today. Ha, sike idk. I'm just saying random stuff that comes to mind because I'd like to talk to someone and my boyfriend is not talking to me right now. You know what's really good? Cheddar peppers! MMMMMMMHMMMMM, hell yeah. I had one today at Sonic and it was like an orgasm in my mouth. Well, I guess you gotta like hot stuff to like this. I finished another scholarship application today. I still have two more to go. Hopefully I'll have them done this week. The only day this week I don't have anything to do is Friday. And Justin works Friday, so does Mariah! Wtf? I'm not gonna have anything to do. Oh well, I guess I can sit home and give myself a facial and paint my nails or something. NOT. Hmmm, fuckmylife.

♥
hugs and pugs

:(

I'm sad because the Jersey Shore season finale was last night. I'm sad because tumblr's being stupid! I'm sad because I have to work tonight.

BooMTV.
BooTumblr.
BooSonic.

:)

I'm having a pretty good day. Yesterday was good too. :) Work is kicking my ass. I'm more and more tired everyday. The good thing is, I'm making money. I have a lot to do that I haven't done. Like essays for scholarship applications. But yet, I'm happy...whattt?

& It's all because of you. ♥

Shitty Friday

I'm sure you've noticed I've sort of strayed from the 365 idea. I might decide to start it back, or I might not.

You know, it's funny that I always seem to have a lot on my mind until I actually log in to my blogspot and try and put it all together.

What sucks even more is half the things I want to say, I can't say.

How do I make myself desirable?

I just wish there was some way I could cut myself off from the world for a whole 24 hours. I lied, 48 hours sounds a hell of a lot better. I just wanna be alone. I just want someone to miss me. I wish I never left your mind.

If you love me, tell me you love me. If you see me as pretty, tell me I'm pretty.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm just having a late night ramble. I'm sick of my life. I want change. I want to make you happy. I want us to be happy, together. I try so hard.

Fuck school. Fuck work. Fuck everything in my life.

I know this sounds like I'm just putting myself down for attention, but these are my feelings. I can't pick and choose how I feel. I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about this. I just need to let it out somehow.

I want you to want me.

March 3-6

Day 131-135
My weekend was amazing. It's too bad it's over and done with. I'm not looking forward to school in the morning. School really should start at like nine or ten. I would pay attention a lot better if that was the case. Tomorrow I have my Central placement test. I'm definitely not looking forward to that, but it's something that has to be done. What's taking you so long, Summer?

March 2, 2011

Day 130
I can't wait to start my job. I have too much free time. I should be studying for my psychology test right now but I can't seem to open my book. I wanna go to sleep, but I can't.

March 1, 2011

Day 129
I don't even know anymore...

February 28, 2011

Day 128
I was sort of busy today. I completed my FAFSA forms, filled out my Central application, started my scholarship application, got an application from Sonic which I plan to turn in tomorrow, edited Justin's English paper, and other stuff like that. Hmmm, I really hope I get a job. I'm tired of my parents bitching at me about money...gas money! I can't wait to move out of this house.

February 25-27

Day 125-127
This blogging shit is getting old.

February 24, 2011

Day 124
Went scootering today. Got hurt, again.

February 22 & 23

Day 122 & 123
Yesterday was a good day for me. Justin came over last night for a little while. I'm trying a diet.

Attempted diet:
1. Eating Breakfast
2. Lots of crunches/sit ups (Ab workouts in general)
3. More, smaller meals
4. Plenty of fluids (Mostly water)
5. Don't miss meals
6. Eat proper foods

Hopefully I'll be able to stick to this diet.

February 21, 2011

Day 121
I am so glad I have a vagina.

February 18, 19 & 20

Day 118, 119 & 120
As you know, it's the weekend. I'm glad Mr. LE is over. I definitely do not want to go to school tomorrow. Sunday's make me so sad. :(

February 16 & 17

Day 116 & 117
You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul.
So don't come back for me, who do you think you are?

We were small children. Why would you? How could you? Did you ever wonder what we'd think of you when we found out when we were older? Did you care that you hurt our mom? Did you think about all the permanent damage this would cause? I guess not. Or maybe you did and you're just that hateful. It wasn't just one mistake, it never stopped. Ever since we were newborns, you've done it. What did we do to you? We were innocent, tiny infants. Were we not good enough? Was our mom not good enough? I guess not.

Here I am today at seventeen years old and you've hurt me so much that I can't even bare to look at you. It makes me sick to my stomach to know all the things you've done. Not to just me; but what you've done to my mom and my sister. My baby sister. She was always daddy's little girl. She thought a lot of you. She was too young to know the truth about you. How could we tell her what you did and break her heart like that? Now she's older now and she knows everything. Why do you think she's like that? Smoking weed and dealing it at school, getting in fights, saying 'fuck you' or 'I hate you' everyday to her parents, bullying other children, and on her way to DJJ. I know why she's like that. You weren't there for her when she needed you. When she was eight years old she saw you, her daddy walk out and leave us for another woman.

You didn't just leave my mom, you left us behind. We watched you pack and walk out. We watched you and my mom wrestle over the car tracker, knocking things over. We watched our mom cry uncontrollably begging you to stop. I still remember it to this day. You wonder why I hate you. You wonder why everybody that knows what went on between our family has no respect for you at all. You wonder why we've had to leave every church we've ever been to because they find out about what you do. Why do you always come back? I've always wondered that. I wish you'd leave. It would make things ten times easier.

Remember that time when you left we didn't have any money because you took it all out of the accounts, the safe and anywhere else it may have been? We had to borrow food and drinks from Michael Hendrix, who lived down the road at that time. Imagine having to ask someone else for your dinner for the night because you had no money to buy it. You knew we lived there too, your children. You knew we had to eat dinner. Knowing all these things, you didn't care.

I could sit and rant all day about all the shit you've put us through. I could write a book telling of all the mental, verbal and physical abuse you've done to us. You'll never change. Every time you come back, you buy us new things to win us back over and to try and make up for what you did. And every time you come back, you leave again. Sometimes it took a few months, and sometimes it took a few years; but you always leave again. I'm just waiting for that day to come. I'm just waiting for my mom to get the balls to say no when you ask to come back home.

People can only take so much. It might be sad to say but all you are to me is a heartless bastard. The devil has a big hot coal ready for you to sit your ass on when you leave this earth. Of all the people who hate you in this world, I, your daughter hate you more than any of them do.

February 15, 2011

Day 115
I went to first block today, it was pretty interesting. I left with Mariah at eleven to go to Sandhills. We went to Belk to get her make-up and then we went to Wet Seal to shop. I bought two shirts and underwear. Hmmm, I came home and had to do a shitload of chores. I'm ready for this day to be over with and I am most definitely not looking forward to school tomorrow.

February 14, 2011

Day 114
Valentine's Day is today! Justin got me flowers, peanut m&ms, a card and a huge gorilla. :p It's so cute. I got my hair cut on Saturday and I'm mad because only one person has noticed that I hadn't told them I cut it. Mr. LE is this weekend and my dress still isn't ready yet! I'm a little nervous, but it's no biggie. Hmmm, I did all my homework in second block. That makes my day so much better. I don't believe in homework. I think all work that is school related should be completed at school, during school hours. It's whatever though. A part of life I have to deal with. When I'm a teacher, if I ever do become one, I won't ever give homework unless my life, paycheck etc. depends on it.
♥
peacelove&happiness

February 12 & 13

Day 112 & 113
I just wanna fly.

February 10 & 11

Day 110 & 111
Today I went to my grandma's house because Justin went to West Virginia for the weekend. It's not that fun, but it beats sitting at home.

February 9, 2011

Day 109
The song explains it all.

February 8, 2011

Day 108
I am not looking forward to this upcoming weekend. :( You know, I used to care a lot about having a bunch of friends and getting everyone to like me and all sorts of nonsense like that. Senior year has made me realize I'm much happier with the few people I have. I have a best friend and a boyfriend. Now I know people say boyfriends come and go and you shouldn't put them before friends but he really is my best friend. I think I've learned to stop caring what others think about me and it feels good not to have any extra drama in my life. Sure I talk to people at school, but that's where it ends and I like it that way. I wouldn't change anything about my social life. I have who I need. ♥

February 7, 2011

Day 107
Everything's going great and I'd like to keep it that way. ♥

February 6, 2011

Day 106
I need sleep. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I hate Mondays.

February 5, 2011

Day 105
Today I went to Kayla's volleyball tournament with Justin and his family. After that, we went to eat with my mom at Zaxby's. Then, we went to Miss Gold and Black. ...that was interesting. To say the least. Finally, we went back to Justin's house to make cinnamon rolls. :) It feels good being with him. For once in my life, I don't have to worry. ♥
I love you.

February 3 & 4, 2011

Day 103 & 104
I didn't have time to write last night. After I got home from Justin's house I went to bed. Today, the 4th is our Facebook official four months. :)
♥

February 2, 2011

Day 102
Today was not a good day. At all.



This song is on some real shit.

February 1, 2011

Day 101
I overslept today and missed my psychology class. My second block is an aide block so I just decided to go back for lunch and dance, then home again! I have the easiest schedule this semester. Too bad all my years in high school weren't this easy. I'm a little bummed about Valentine's Day weekend this year. I'm usually excited for it but this year I have to spend it alone. :( Justin's going skiing with friends and I'm going to be stuck in good ole South Carolina doing nothing. Oh well. Shit happens. I need sleep.

January 31, 2011

Day 100
There is one thing I have that she doesn't. And that's you. ♥
Never take anyone for granted. Never.



Miss LE's finally over. :)

January 28-30, 2011

Day 97-99
I haven't been blogging lately because of Miss LE and everything. Praise God that's over with!

January 26 & 27, 2011

Day 95 & 96
I'm so nervous about Miss LE, it's not even funny.

January 25, 2011

Day 94
Thank you God for a great day. ♥ Miss LE's coming up soon and I really hope that I will do good and my nervous feelings will all go away by then.

January 24, 2011

Day 93
For those of you who know me personally, I have a very low self esteem. It seems like that itself causes a lot of problems I have with myself and others. I just want to know I'm smart enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, funny enough, nice enough, and above all, good enough. It's hard not to think about things like that, but it happens.

January 21-23, 2011

Day 90-92
Obviously, it's the weekend. I haven't been writing much simply because I have been lazy. This weekend's been a little up and down. Things going right fall apart and things falling apart seem to shape back together again. I want to have a good solid week of just happiness. I wonder if that's even possible. On a different note, Miss LE is less than a week away and I just really am dreading it. I think it's making me stress more than anything.

FML

January 20, 2011

Day 89
Words can't explain how I feel right now.

January 19, 2011

Day 88
I can't ever seem to do right.



Get me out of this place. I can only take so much.

January 18, 2011

Day 87
Since I've been off the cruise, I've been a lot happier throughout the day. At least, I try to be...



Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough for someone? And in your mind, you're doing everything it takes to keep them happy and make it work between the two of you. But then sometimes they don't see it that way. And they find faults in you that were faults from your childhood. I'm sure everyone has felt this way at some point. Or, instead of not feeling good enough for someone maybe you felt like you weren't good enough for anyone. Not even for your parents, your teachers, or even your friends/peers. I guess that's the hard thing about life is that you can't please everyone and it's hard try to please everyone because you end up losing yourself and you forget who you are. I'm not trying to say I don't have faults. I have plenty just like everyone else. The most important thing to do to correct these faults is to put effort into avoiding them. It can't be done in one day, or two days, or a week, or a month. Change like that happens over time. And even though I hate Miley Cyrus, she was right when she said, everybody makes mistakes.

January 13-17, 2011

Day 82-86

I'm glad to be back. :)

January 12, 2011

Day 82
I got to see Justin today! :) I was happy about that. The sad thing is, I'm leaving tomorrow morning at four for the cruise so I won't be able to blog until Monday. :(

January 11, 2011

Day 81
Today, the roads were still icey but Justin came to pick me up around three and we spent the rest of the day at his house. I had a good time and it was good seeing him again. I'm supposed to go on that stupid cruise tomorrow, so I really hope I get to see him tomorrow too. ♥ I really don't even know what I'm going to do without him for that long! It's going to suck. Well, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I hope that's true!

January 10, 2011

Day 80
It snowed again today. The roads were so bad I wasn't able to hang out with Justin. I was really upset about that because it's supposed to be even worse tomorrow and I'm leaving for my cruise on Thursday. :(
Have you ever felt like you had so much to say to someone? So many feelings and emotions? But when you do start talking, they don't respond with what you were expecting? Then you feel stupid. I guess it could be worse though.
It could always be worse.
I just have to remember that.



What do you do when you're having a bad day?
I usually like to crawl in my bed and listen to Bob Marley <3

Who did you last pinky promise with?
Justinnnn. <3

Are you one of those people who hate crying in front of others?
If I'm at school, I do.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yeah.

Does anyone completely understand you?
Not completely, but pretty close to it.

Have you ever hung out with the last person you texted?
Yeah!

How many people do you completely trust?
Two, to a degree..

Ever kissed anyone starting with S or G?
Nahhh.

Do you believe what goes around comes around?
Of course!

How many piercings do you have?
Ears and cartilage.

Have you kissed more than one person since the start of 2009?
Yeah.

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name starts with an D?
Yeah.

Do you have a best friend?
Hello Mariah Kapri Monk.

Do you get along with guys?
Better than girls!

You're rude, aren't you?
If I don't like you.

How tall are you?
5 foot.

Do you text alot?
Yeahhh.

Do you fall for people easily?
Not until recently.

Your ex REALLY needs you at 3 am and you have a way to their house, what would you do?
I'm gonna have to pass.

Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
Yes.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
Yep.

Would you rather have long or short hair?
Long.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
Well duh!

What song did you hear last?
Freak a Leek - Petey Pablo.

Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
At school!

If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go?
Sure, why not!?

If you were given 10 million dollars to keep, what would you do?
If you read my previous post, you'd see I'd want to buy a black Range Rover sport. I'd probably give a lot to the children's hospital too.

Who did you last share a bed with?
Justin!

Anyone say they wanted to be with you forever?
Mhm.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
It depends on if it's a mad feeling or a sad feeling.

Is anyone on your bad side right now?
Hahahahaha, yep.

If you ended up In jail, who would be most likely to end up in there with you?
Mariah! Hahaha.

Do you remember who you liked this time three months ago?
The same person <3

January 9, 2011

Day 79
Today started off really good, then you can imagine where it went from there.

January 7 & 8, 2011

Day 77 & 78
I didn't write yesterday because I went to the bowling alley with Justin and his friends and didn't get home until one in the morning. Things have gone really good for me these past two days. I found out I passed my probability and statistics class. I decided to go back to school second semester since I failed Advanced Composition. My schedule for next semester is:
1. Psychology - Pearson
2. Study Hall
3. Credit Recovery - Campbell
EARLY DISMISSAL

I'm not exactly happy about going back, but at least I won't have a hard schedule. Today I spent the whole day with Justin. We went to First Impression to look at dresses to escort him in. We didn't have much luck. After that, we came back to my house and hung out the rest of the day. :)

January 6, 2011

Day 76
I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing.

January 5, 2011

Day 75
Today was an okay day. I'm still upset about my horrible news from yesterday. After school I went to look for a dress to escort Justin in for Mr. LE. Not much luck there. I figured it out. I'm okay with my body all except for my stomach! I've told people that and they tell me to do crunches and stuff. Look here, I am not athletic whatsoever and just two of those make me hurt. If I go on a diet I'll lose weight in other places I don't want to lose weight in though. Hm, not really sure what I should do.

January 4, 2011

Day 74
I can say with 100% certainty today was the worst day of my life.



P.S. Justin and I have been 'Facebook official' for three months now. He had nothing to do with my horrible day though. He's wonderful. ♥

January 3, 2011

Day 73
Today, I feel like answering questions.

Apple juice or orange juice?
I like grape juice, but apple sounds better than orange.

Are you a morning or night person?
Definitely a night person!

Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?
Salty, for sure!

Ninjas or pirates?
Pirates. Arggggg! :p

What was your favorite childhood television program?
When I was little, Barney. Growing up, Hey Arnold! or Rugrats.

Are you a collector of anything?
Nope.

If you could be any animal, what would you be?
Lion! I'd be married to the king of the jungle, which would make me a queen. :)

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
To be invisible whenever I wanted.

What is usually your first thought when you wake up?
I usually think about the dream I had that night.

What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?
Before I fall asleep I talk to Justin so he's the last thing on my mind. :)

What's your favorite color?
Green!

What's your favorite animal?
Lions, giraffes and meerkats!

Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?
Honestly, no.

Do you believe in ghosts?
To a degree, yeah.

Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?
It's called Mediterranean Mahjong. Justin picks on me about playing it so much. :)

You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?
First I'd buy a black Range Rover Sport Edition, then I'd save the rest.

Have any bad habits?
Sure, don't we all?

List 3 of your best personality traits:
I'm sweet, caring and funny.

List 3 of your worst personality traits:
Sometimes I'm selfish, I tend to get mad about stupid stuff, and when I'm in a bad mood I'm rude to almost everyone.

Have any celebrity crushes?
Just a few: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Enrique Iglesias, Taylor Lautner, and Ryan Sheckler.

List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself:
I would mostly change things appearance wise.

Any tattoos or piercings?
I have my cartilage done, that's about it.

What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
Usually the eyes and smile.

What personality traits do you look for in a partner?
Someone who wants to go somewhere in life, someone who truly cares about me and makes me feel special. I already found him. :)

What personality traits do you dislike in other people?
When people have potential and they don't even try. Oh and of course, liars.

Are you mostly a clean or messy person?
Mostly clean!

Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years?
Yeah, I actually do for once.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Probably Florida, it's beautiful.

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I would have to say either Australia or somewhere like California or New York.

List 5 goals on your life's to-do list:
1. Go to college.
2. Get a good job.
3. Get married.
4. Have children.
5. Be happy.

Name 1 regret you have:
I don't have regrets because I feel like if I changed anything about my life, I might not be who I am today.

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid:
The simple things. The hardest decisions I had were things like which crayon I wanted to color with or whether I wanted cheese crackers or cheetos.

Name 1 thing you love about being an adult:
I like being able to do what I want, for the most part.

What's your favorite song of the moment?
I would have to say Bring it Back by Travis Porter.

What's your favorite song of all time?
I have a lot of those. Hm, just throwing one out there, Work It by Missy Elliott.

What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?
Spend time with Justin. :)

What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?
I like sleeping on Sundays and hanging out with Justin. :)

Have any hidden talents?
Nah, not really.

You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal?
As much as I love food, I have to pick three meals.
1. Home cooked: Pork Chop and Macaroni and Cheese.
2. Japanese: Steak and Rice (with white sauce).
3. Home cooked: Potato Soup with Sausage.

What would be your dream job?
Probably being a psychiatrist for adolescents but I couldn't go to school for that long.

Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?
True love. :)

If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?
To grow taller, to get a black Range Rover Sport Edition and to have 100 more wishes.

Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?
Yeah, sometimes when it's that time of the month.

Name 1 thing not many people know about you:
I really really really like to eat.

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?
Probably to my middle name Paige, or either Lexie.

Do you believe in the afterlife?
I believe in Heaven and Hell.

On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies?
Cookies are really good unless Justin makes them. ;)



Facebook status of the day: "Yes I would die for you baby, but you won't do the same."

December 31 - January 2, 2011

Day 71, 72, 73
I spent the weekend at Justin's house while my parents went to the beach. It was wonderful. :)