I was sort of busy today. I completed my FAFSA forms, filled out my Central application, started my scholarship application, got an application from Sonic which I plan to turn in tomorrow, edited Justin's English paper, and other stuff like that. Hmmm, I really hope I get a job. I'm tired of my parents bitching at me about money...gas money! I can't wait to move out of this house.
Monday, February 28, 2011
February 28, 2011
I was sort of busy today. I completed my FAFSA forms, filled out my Central application, started my scholarship application, got an application from Sonic which I plan to turn in tomorrow, edited Justin's English paper, and other stuff like that. Hmmm, I really hope I get a job. I'm tired of my parents bitching at me about money...gas money! I can't wait to move out of this house.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
February 22 & 23
Yesterday was a good day for me. Justin came over last night for a little while. I'm trying a diet.
Attempted diet:
1. Eating Breakfast
2. Lots of crunches/sit ups (Ab workouts in general)
3. More, smaller meals
4. Plenty of fluids (Mostly water)
5. Don't miss meals
6. Eat proper foods
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
February 18, 19 & 20
As you know, it's the weekend. I'm glad Mr. LE is over. I definitely do not want to go to school tomorrow. Sunday's make me so sad. :(
Thursday, February 17, 2011
February 16 & 17
So don't come back for me, who do you think you are?
We were small children. Why would you? How could you? Did you ever wonder what we'd think of you when we found out when we were older? Did you care that you hurt our mom? Did you think about all the permanent damage this would cause? I guess not. Or maybe you did and you're just that hateful. It wasn't just one mistake, it never stopped. Ever since we were newborns, you've done it. What did we do to you? We were innocent, tiny infants. Were we not good enough? Was our mom not good enough? I guess not.
Here I am today at seventeen years old and you've hurt me so much that I can't even bare to look at you. It makes me sick to my stomach to know all the things you've done. Not to just me; but what you've done to my mom and my sister. My baby sister. She was always daddy's little girl. She thought a lot of you. She was too young to know the truth about you. How could we tell her what you did and break her heart like that? Now she's older now and she knows everything. Why do you think she's like that? Smoking weed and dealing it at school, getting in fights, saying 'fuck you' or 'I hate you' everyday to her parents, bullying other children, and on her way to DJJ. I know why she's like that. You weren't there for her when she needed you. When she was eight years old she saw you, her daddy walk out and leave us for another woman.
You didn't just leave my mom, you left us behind. We watched you pack and walk out. We watched you and my mom wrestle over the car tracker, knocking things over. We watched our mom cry uncontrollably begging you to stop. I still remember it to this day. You wonder why I hate you. You wonder why everybody that knows what went on between our family has no respect for you at all. You wonder why we've had to leave every church we've ever been to because they find out about what you do. Why do you always come back? I've always wondered that. I wish you'd leave. It would make things ten times easier.
Remember that time when you left we didn't have any money because you took it all out of the accounts, the safe and anywhere else it may have been? We had to borrow food and drinks from Michael Hendrix, who lived down the road at that time. Imagine having to ask someone else for your dinner for the night because you had no money to buy it. You knew we lived there too, your children. You knew we had to eat dinner. Knowing all these things, you didn't care.
I could sit and rant all day about all the shit you've put us through. I could write a book telling of all the mental, verbal and physical abuse you've done to us. You'll never change. Every time you come back, you buy us new things to win us back over and to try and make up for what you did. And every time you come back, you leave again. Sometimes it took a few months, and sometimes it took a few years; but you always leave again. I'm just waiting for that day to come. I'm just waiting for my mom to get the balls to say no when you ask to come back home.
People can only take so much. It might be sad to say but all you are to me is a heartless bastard. The devil has a big hot coal ready for you to sit your ass on when you leave this earth. Of all the people who hate you in this world, I, your daughter hate you more than any of them do.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
February 15, 2011
I went to first block today, it was pretty interesting. I left with Mariah at eleven to go to Sandhills. We went to Belk to get her make-up and then we went to Wet Seal to shop. I bought two shirts and underwear. Hmmm, I came home and had to do a shitload of chores. I'm ready for this day to be over with and I am most definitely not looking forward to school tomorrow.
Monday, February 14, 2011
February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day is today! Justin got me flowers, peanut m&ms, a card and a huge gorilla. :p It's so cute. I got my hair cut on Saturday and I'm mad because only one person has noticed that I hadn't told them I cut it. Mr. LE is this weekend and my dress still isn't ready yet! I'm a little nervous, but it's no biggie. Hmmm, I did all my homework in second block. That makes my day so much better. I don't believe in homework. I think all work that is school related should be completed at school, during school hours. It's whatever though. A part of life I have to deal with. When I'm a teacher, if I ever do become one, I won't ever give homework unless my life, paycheck etc. depends on it.
♥
peacelove&happiness
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
February 10 & 11
Today I went to my grandma's house because Justin went to West Virginia for the weekend. It's not that fun, but it beats sitting at home.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
February 8, 2011
I am not looking forward to this upcoming weekend. :( You know, I used to care a lot about having a bunch of friends and getting everyone to like me and all sorts of nonsense like that. Senior year has made me realize I'm much happier with the few people I have. I have a best friend and a boyfriend. Now I know people say boyfriends come and go and you shouldn't put them before friends but he really is my best friend. I think I've learned to stop caring what others think about me and it feels good not to have any extra drama in my life. Sure I talk to people at school, but that's where it ends and I like it that way. I wouldn't change anything about my social life. I have who I need. ♥
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
February 5, 2011
Today I went to Kayla's volleyball tournament with Justin and his family. After that, we went to eat with my mom at Zaxby's. Then, we went to Miss Gold and Black. ...that was interesting. To say the least. Finally, we went back to Justin's house to make cinnamon rolls. :) It feels good being with him. For once in my life, I don't have to worry. ♥
I love you.
Friday, February 4, 2011
February 3 & 4, 2011
I didn't have time to write last night. After I got home from Justin's house I went to bed. Today, the 4th is our Facebook official four months. :)
♥
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
February 1, 2011
I overslept today and missed my psychology class. My second block is an aide block so I just decided to go back for lunch and dance, then home again! I have the easiest schedule this semester. Too bad all my years in high school weren't this easy. I'm a little bummed about Valentine's Day weekend this year. I'm usually excited for it but this year I have to spend it alone. :( Justin's going skiing with friends and I'm going to be stuck in good ole South Carolina doing nothing. Oh well. Shit happens. I need sleep.
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